Who Said Life Was Easy?

I was diagnosed with colon cancer on Friday, April 8, 2005. I don't plan on celebrating its anniversary on April 8, 2007 especially since my cancer has grown. After my three month check up, when I was expecting to hear good news, my oncologist told me and my partner that the damn thing had grown and so it was back to chemo. As I sat in the office of my oncologist I vacilated between jumping out the window and strangling him. I guess neither would have done me any good nor would send the cancer kicking and screaming from my body. As he started to describe a new protocol I tuned out and started to wonder if I would make it through a second time. Would I be able to go to Greece with my partner? Would I be able to see my precious niece grow up? Would I be able to dance at my wedding? Would I be able to... Our drive home was silent as we both succumbed to our own thoughts and fears.

In the last several weeks people like Elizabeth Edwards and Tony Snow have had a similar diagnosis to the chagrin of their families. As Andrew Sullivan notes here, cancer doesn't discriminate across party lines nor any other line. It is an insiduous disease that claims lives and souls. And while I don't plan on giving into this disease I do get angry and frustrated. In my first go round with this disease my partner purchased the book "It's Always Something," by Gilda Radner, and it helped me to put things into perspective. I didn't read this as a self help book but as a book written by someone who experienced the same journey. The book made me laugh and cry and boil over with anger. I guess it is time to re-read it. I also read Lance Armstrong's book, "It's Not About the Bike," years before I was diagnosed. I'm not one for heroes but if I were forced to give names it would have to be Gilda Radner and Lance Armstrong.